mistakes can be healed(TOMTORD) REWRITE
by dreamka
Summary: (TW:SELF HARM & MENTAL ILLNESS) Everyone thought Tord was dead.Oh how wrong they were. But, he's back with good intentions. Expect the fact that he wants to destroy himself because of the guilty crown that he's been wearing all this time-for the mistakes he's done. However he doesn't know that Mistakes can be healed. THIS BOOK CONTAINS: YAOI CHARACTER SHIPPING MENTAL ILLNESS
1. the air is poison

(TW:SELF HARM MENTAL ILLNESS)

Everyone thought Tord was dead.Oh how wrong they were.

But, he's back with good intentions.

Expect the fact that he wants to destroy himself because of the guilty crown that he's been wearing all this time-for the mistakes he's done.

However he doesn't know that

Mistakes can be healed.

️ THIS BOOK CONTAINS:

YAOI

CHARACTER SHIPPING

MENTAL ILLNESS

SUICIDE ATTEMPTS

SMUT

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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**_the air is poison_** \- chap 1

Tords Pov:

I'm sitting on my bed.Lights off.Curtains closed up.Sitting alone in the darkness ,only me and my stupid thoughts.

I can't take it.I miss them. they probably don't.. they probably think I'm dead just like they want me to be.I ruin everything.I betrayed them,I don't need them to accept it or trust me again I don't deserve their forgiveness.

I ...I just want them to know I'm sorry...

If you are wondering who 'they' are .They are my old friends.

The ones you betrayed.

You nearly killed

And in the process you even made yourself more ugly than you already are

I sit up from my bed trying to hold back my tears.

Today I will meet them.

I know they won't accept my apology but I just want them to know.

I will end everything after I apologize to them.

I open my bedroom door and go downstairs.i'm glad I live alone right now,my dads are at the base and while I'm taking a break they control the whole army.So they can't see what I do to myself.i can't show them I'm weak.

I mean I'm their leader.

I grab my coat and go outside .As I walk down the street spaced out, I pass in front of our old house...So many good memories...which I destroyed...

It's all my fault.

I get to the building where the guys are supposed to be living.i am starting to get nervous.my hopes fade as I reach the elevator.when the elevator doors open I'm hit by shock I start shaking.

It is him.

Tom

He is standing in front of me.Panicking and breathing heavily I get out of the elevator and start backing away from him towards the stairs. But something stops me by grabbing hold of my hoodie. I shake in fear.

"Where are you going You bastard?"

I shiver. he sounds annoyed and a dark aura radiating off him, I can't see his face until he spins me round to face him.

He glares darkly at me.i freeze, I am terrified, I can't breathe.My heart beats faster and faster.I feel my throat closing up,my chest feels too tight,the air is suffocating.

"Oh so you are scared are you?Well you weren't back then in that robot!!"

I am shaking all over.

"I-I-I am sorry I came here t-to a-apologize!i'm s-so s-s-sorry!!!"

A tear runs down my cheek.then another and another until I start sobbing and quivering.

It..it doesn't matter.

"What's going on h-!"

Edd...

"T-Tord?"

I look up at him .

It feels as if there's no oxygen in the room.

Everything is spinning.

"I'm sorry..."

These are the last words I am aware of before hearing screaming and yelling. Tom looks at me and then everything goes black

[EDITED 19/5/2019]

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	2. Broken apologies

Tom's Pov:

Great ,just great now the bastard fainted.

I started shaking and yelling at him to wake up.Edd ran up to me.

"What did you do to him ?!"

"Okay first of all Edd ,I DID NOTHING,he had a panic attack and he fainted."

"Okay..now help me get him inside"

"No Edd are you mental?!this commie is the monster who destroyed our home!Our trust!"I yell angrily at him.

"Tom,do you think after what you just witnessed,that he's considered a threat?"

"Well..no,but I still don't trust him"I pout crossing my arm.

"Whatever you say.just help me get him inside and we can discuss this later.."

"UGH FINE!"

I lift Tord up in my arms ,feeling a little concerned because he feels so light, and walk inside as Edd open and then closes the door of his apartment behind me. I lay him down on the couch.I just saw his half face was scratched up and the right side.Something metallic catches my eye.Oh my god,his ..his arm is robotic. I..i did this?.I look at his face again.

He looked so peaceful.His eyes were bloodshot a little and he had tear stained cheeks from before.

I couldn't believe that commie bastard was back.He seemed pretty...thin I dunno and he had scratches all over his face.

Maybe...I was wrong about him.

I was snapped out from my thoughts by edd .

"So...what happened?"

I look towards him and sigh.

"I was going to leave and go to the elevator.When the doors opened he was already in and he looked very nervous.When he saw me ,he started having a panic attack and tried to ran away but I stopped him .Then you came and he fainted."

Edd looked at me with a sad face

"I believe we... need to contact Matt and say to him to come back and inform him about all of this.Also I believe that HE needs to stay here for a while"

"What?why?He will probably try to kill us."

"Tom he seems like he NEEDS help"

He had a point I haven't seen Tord like that before.I still I forgive him but I don't trust him yet.

"Okay I understand it but I don't want that commie near me!"

Edd stared at me a little.

"Weeeeel actually ,can he stay with you?"

If I had been drinking water right now I would have chocked with it.

"WHAT?!"

"Come on Please?"

"NO!"

"I'll throw away all of you alcohol "

I glared at him.How dares he?!

"UGH!FINE!"

"Thanks Tom!"Said Edd hugging me and then sitting up exiting the room disappearing in the apartment,probably drawing.

I am alone with the commie.i stare down at him he looks cute when he sleeps.Okay Tom wtf, that was creepy.i pick him up bridal style and get out of edd's apartment and going into mine .Once I got inside I close the door behind me trying not to make too much noise .i get inside my room and I lean down Tord ,who curls into a ball .It is adorable!Wait what?No he's a fucker!I hope he died!

Yeah I wish he was...

dead

I heard a groan from beside me coming from the Norwegian.He starts waking up.His eyes flutter open,he looks directly at me,frozen.He finally realizes what happened and where he's .

"Tom I-"

"Save it"

"I'm sorry"

"Tord stop please"

"I-i can giv-ve you answers!p-please Tom!L-let me explain!"

"SHUT UP"

Tord looks down he's shaking.i feel a little guilty about him for snapping at him but I...I don't trust him and I'm irritated cause I have to share my apartment with HIM.He stands up and runs into the kitchen.i stand up as well follow him .once I get through the doorframe I freeze.

"Hey where are you going comm-" I gasp, his hands are full with pills ready to be swallowed.

"TORD NO STOP!"

He looks at me,his eyes wide open as if he's seeing the reaper.He's sobbing,I haven't ever seen him cry before .

He smiles at me.Not a crazy dark smile but...it was a broken smile.

"Isn't it better Tom?i should have died back then...God your right...haha...ha"He drops the pills from his hand,his knees buckle under him causing him to fall into his knees sobbing.He has changed,a lot . I can hear his mumbling "I'm sorry " over and over again like a broken record.

.I thought he was acting,but I look at him..and just how much of a good actor can someone be?This is real he's being real right now.

This is the real him.

I have to get answers later,now I have to stop being a dick and comfort him.

I kneel down beside him .He didn't notice me.I lean into his shoulder wrapping an arm around his waist in a protective way.His breath hitches and he looks up at me with teary and scared eyes .

"T-Tom w-w-what a-are you-"

I stopped him

"I...i forgive you Tord,I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier.."

He stared at me,he froze .More tears began to ran down his face making him hiccup.

"Ssshh it ok,your okay,I'm here"

He looked so broken .He looked down again tears dripping from his cheeks on the floor.I hug him now .He buries his face in my chest.I Massage his back to calm him down .After 10 mins his sobbing died down and only our soft breaths are heard,I look down at him and he is staring off into space.

I sigh and I smile a bit.i pick him up bridal style and carry him to my room.I open the door of my bedroom and lay him down on the blankets.Before I go I whisper in his ear.

"I forgive you "

I get up and he mumbles sleepily

"Thank...you..Tom".

I close the door of my room and go to the living room .I lean down at the couch ,I turned on the tv with nothing to interesting to see.


End file.
